What To Do With Shaky Friends After A Divorce
Posted on: 8 April 2015
Couples who do not have kids sometimes believe that a divorce will involve only them. However, one of the additional challenges of a divorce is that you may lose some of your friends through the process. Friends often take sides during the divorce and you can never predict who is going to take your side. However, you may still be able to salvage some of your friendships.
Assess Your Friendships
First off, you should take stock of which friendships you value in the first place. There is little reason in pulling your hair out over a friend who isn't even a major part of your life. Of course, if the friend is already taking your side, you should take all the support you can get. But if the individual is more the friend of your ex, you could make the decision easy for that individual by simply ending the friendship.
Explain Your Side
Make sure that your friends understand your side of the story. Even though they might still side with your partner, many friends do not know the full story and would be more sympathetic toward you if they knew why you made the decisions that you did. However, you will want to gradually bring up your side of the story because your friends will likely feel awkward about your divorce. However, if your ex is hell-bent on turning all of your former friends against you, you may be better off with friends who are less gullible. The friends that remain will be your most trusted friends.
Contact Your Friends Regularly
Since your friends might not know where they stand with you, but may still want to be friends, you should try to make this clear by regularly contacting them. Make a phone call here and there or send an email. You can test how they respond and determine if your friend is still interested in being friends with you.
Accept That Some Friends Will Be Gone Forever
There are some friends who might cease contact with both of you. For those who have shaky marriages themselves, your divorce might be a reminder of the problems that they have in their own marriages. Some of your friends might be morally against divorce as a whole. Also, if you experience a change in your social status, some friends might have a snobbish attitude and view you as beneath them. Regardless, you are better off without these friends.
To learn more, contact a company like Nichols, Speidel, & Nichols with any questions you have.
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